Soviet jokesSoviet jokes (helpful to understanding paranoia etc)
A man walks into a grocery store with a notebook. "Do you have sausage?" "No." He makes a note. "Bread?" "No." He makes another note. "20 years ago, they would have shot you for making notes like that," says a woman waiting in line. "No bullets either," he writes.
Four dogs -- Mexican, American, Polish, Russian -- are discussing their lives. The Mexican dog says, "the servants used to leave meat out for me, but now I have to bark for it." The American dog says, "you have servants in Mexico?" The Polish dog says, "they feed you meat?" The Russian dog says, "they let you bark?"
On hardship and cynicism:
A Frenchman, a Brit, and a Russian are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. The Frenchman says, "they must be French, they're naked and they're eating fruit." The Englishman says, "clearly, they're English; observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit." The Russian notes, "they are Russian, of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise."
The soviet genetic modification experiment:
Brezhnev is driving in a fast car when he is overtaken by a chicken. A race ensues, at last Brezhnev gives up and seeing a nearby Biology Institute with people hanging around the gate smoking, goes to one of them and asks about the chicken. 'That is the result of Soviet genetic engineering' a scientist says proudly. 'But what was the purpose of creating such a chicken?' Brezhnev asks, perplexed. 'We wanted to make a tastier chicken.' 'Is it tastier?' 'No-one ever caught one to find out,' scientist says. 'But we know that the Soviet chicken is the world's fastest.'
Why do KGB men always come in threes? One to write a report, one to read it, and one to check up on the 2 intellectuals.
An American and a Soviet soldier kill each other and end up at the pearly gates
"Dear Radio Yerevan: Under communism will we still have money?"
"Dear listener: No, none of that either."
" Under communism we had money but there was nothing to buy, now we have no money and there is lots to buy"